New Order Mormon

<p> <aimoo wysiwyg="WYSIWYG"><p style="MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt" class="MsoNormal"><font face="Times New Roman" size="3">Maybe its just me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>I am, after all, a NOM, not overly outgoing, and have been only marginally active for several years (although BIC, RM and MIT). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>But since my divorce four years ago, and as a single father with custody of my two youngest girls, 6 and 9, it seems that I have become somewhat of a <em>persona non grata </em>within the LDS community. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Were now three months into our third ward since the Big D, and the pattern always seems to be the same: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Well go to church several weeks in a row, sit through SM, the girls get routed to their respective Primary classes, and I might even make it to PM a couple of times (...but theres only so much of that that I can take). <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Seeing a new face, someone usually tackles me the first week or two for names and birthdays so they can get our membership records, and when it is discovered that there is no Sister Exmosure in the picture, we all suddenly become quite radioactive. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  <span style="FONT-SIZE: 12pt; FONT-FAMILY: 'Times New Roman'; mso-fareast-font-family: 'Times New Roman'; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA">The frosting on the cake, however, was a couple weeks ago when the Ultra-TMB parents of one of my daughters new friends refused to let their daughter play at our house because there is no mother in the house& <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Is it a logical assumption that since I am divorced and a single father that I must therefore be a perv/pedofile/deviant or otherwise unfit to be around little girls? <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span></span></span>I have yet to be contacted by a bishop, counselor, HT, Primary or anyone welcoming us to the ward or inquiring whether the 9-year old would maybe like to be baptized. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>Dont get me wrong  thats actually ok, as I would just as soon be left alone, and besides, I think 8 or 9 is way too young for a child to make any kind of an informed, rational decision about formal momembership. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes">  </span>This is not a rant, I just find it curious, especially after reading so many posts from others of you who seem be hounded unmercifully by the local clergy, and who resort to peeking through curtains and pretending not to be home when the activation committee comes calling. </font></p><a target="newwindow27" href="http://www.aimoo.com/forum/freeboard.cfm?id=319220&NoCaches=Yes&xxx=2066"></a> <b><br><br>------------------------- <br></b>I"m lost. I"ve gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. <br><br> </font>

<p> <aimoo wysiwyg="WYSIWYG"><p>Well, each ward is different. As much as the PTB correlate, they really can't completely control whether the people in any given area will follow the programs, including the reactivation programs, with the prescribed measure of zeal. </p> <p>But I think it's perfectly logical that your locals wouldn't be bothering you. You're a new move-in, and you're attending regularly. The SM attendance shows that clearly, you are still one of the ninety-and-nine, however much you may feel like a black sheep. It's when you've lived there for a while and people have gotten to know you as a straight arrow, and suddenly you drop out of the quiver, that they tend to panic and send the native bushmen to hunt you down (lovingly...for your own good). </p> <p>BTW, I think it totally sucks that some people assume that little girls shouldn't be around a single dad. My assumption is rather that a single dad is stepping up to the plate to fulfill his responsibility in a tougher than average situation. Kudos to you. </p> <b><br><br>------------------------- <br></b>Such was the power of the handbag of glory that ladies wept when they saw it, and all those who touched it went straight to heaven. <br><br> </font>

<p> <aimoo wysiwyg="WYSIWYG">Reply to : beijing <blockquote> <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1">BTW, I think it totally sucks that some people assume that little girls shouldn't be around a single dad. My assumption is rather that a single dad is stepping up to the plate to fullfill his responsibility in a tougher than average situation.  Kudos to you. <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1"> </blockquote> <p>Yes !  Kudos to you.  I see more and more men  at church in the situation you are in.  Infact I've had quite a few men friends that have raised their children all alone without ever remarrying.  One really close friend I asked  (even though it was none of my business but my curiousity got the best of me since he was a handsome man and could have easily remarried)  why he had never choose to marry while he was raising his children. He said "LDA, my children were my top priority, and it wouldn't have been fair to bring a wife into this mess until they were raised and I could then give her my attention.  Until then they deserved my attention and my priority.  When I lost my wife (she ran off with another man) they lost their mother and their family as they knew it. " </p> <p>By sharing this I am not saying this is the direction all men, or women should take.  I just found his reasons interesting.  He could have also been burned out by women because of a cheating wife.  The men I knew that did not remarry all had cheating wives. </p> <p>Beijing is correct.  It is different in every ward.  We have a really good ward that I have seen pitch in and really help the single fathers and many moms have stepped up to the plate to help be good mommy figures to those who have girls especially. </p> <p>I am so sorry for the ignorance shown to your daughters and you by the mother.  More and more mormon families in my geographical area though are becoming extremely exclusive with who their children can run with and spent the night with even to the extent that some children are not allowed to spend the night in anyones homes anymore.  </p> <p>Playing with someone at their home because there is no mommy.  Hmmmm !  A little extreme. I think if I were you I would talk to the mother and let her know that you know.  Sometimes parents tell their children things they don't expect to be repeated and guess what mommies and daddies?  Your kids do repeat.  You might let Mommy know that you would never, never hurt anyones child and that just because there is no mommy in your home you would still never hurt a child.  The only way to fight ignorance is through education and communication. </p> <p>  </p> <p>  </p> <b><br><br>------------------------- <br></b>Latter-Day-Ain"t <br> <br>Religions are different roads converging upon the same point. What doest it matter that we take different road as long as we reach the same goal. Mohatma Gandhi. <br><br> </font>

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"My greatest fear is that I will be standing behind Mother Theresa in the Final Judgement line and I'll hear God tell her "You know, you should have done more."

<p> <aimoo wysiwyg="WYSIWYG">Reply to : Latter-day-Ain't <blockquote> <p> <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1">Playing with someone at their home because there is no mommy.  Hmmmm !  A little extreme. I think if I were you I would talk to the mother and let her know that you know.  Sometimes parents tell their children things they don't expect to be repeated and guess what mommies and daddies?  Your kids do repeat.  You might let Mommy know that you would never, never hurt anyones child and that just because there is no mommy in your home you would still never hurt a child.  The only way to fight ignorance is through education and communication. <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1"> </p></blockquote> <p>F* 'em.  This particular family is so pious, I would really prefer that my child not associate with them anyway.  Besides, my kid is a pretty good judge of character and has already come to the conclusion on her own that this girl is just too icky-sweet for her anyway.  If this were the only option for my daughter to establish a peer group I would probably attempt to educate these cretins, but she has plenty of other friends now that school has started. </p> <b><br><br>------------------------- <br></b>I"m lost. I"ve gone to look for myself. If I should return before I get back, please ask me to wait. <br><br> </font>

<p> <aimoo wysiwyg="WYSIWYG">Reply to : Northern_Exmosure <blockquote> <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1">.F* 'em. This particular family is so pious, I would really prefer that my child not associate with them anyway. Besides, my kid is a pretty good judge of character and has already come to the conclusion that this girl is just to icky-sweet for her anyways. <hr noshade="noShade" width="100%" size="1"> </blockquote>Good for your daughter.  Its just a personal thing with me.  I like to see some of the ickily pious people put down a notch.  It brings me wicked pleasure.  I deliciously lap up watching some of them squirm when you call them on their unseemingly behavior in a humbly righteous way of course.  Is there such a thing?   <img src="http://www.aimoo.com/forum/images/messageicon/biggrin1.gif"> <b><br><br>------------------------- <br></b>Latter-Day-Ain"t <br> <br>Religions are different roads converging upon the same point. What doest it matter that we take different road as long as we reach the same goal. Mohatma Gandhi. <br><br> </font>

_________________
"My greatest fear is that I will be standing behind Mother Theresa in the Final Judgement line and I'll hear God tell her "You know, you should have done more."