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 Post subject: How Do I Join the FLDS?
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 9:24 am 
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I received a revelation the other day (while watching Big Love, I might add) that I should take another wife or two. I haven't yet revealed this the lords will to DW, but free love was all the rage in Nauvoo and we should try and become more like our early leaders.

So how do we go about joining the FLDS people? I found a website but there was no info on how to get in. Does Warren Jeffs have an email address? Does he even have access to email in jail? Or will he have received the same revelation as me and be contacting me soon of his own accord?

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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 10:00 am 
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Since you received a new revelation, that makes you a new FLDS prophet. Just start your own branch and advertise for recruits.
Don't bother contacting me, though. My one wife is already more than I can handle sometimes.
Unless,
if the second marriage is only going to be in heaven,
and,
if I don't have to financially support the second wife because the marriage is only in heaven,
and,
if I were only obligated to see her once every couple of months or so,
and,
if I could keep it a secret from my first wife,
and,
if I could still do the deed with her even though its only a marriage in heaven, then, by all means, sign me up!

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When it is not in our power to follow what is true, we ought to follow what is most probable.-Renee Descartes
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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 10:01 am 
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ACK! If your gonna be a fundamentalist at least go with a group that isn't all about teen brides. Come on man!

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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 10:41 am 
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Earthbound misfit: you will be my first recruit!!

Just me: OK we'll leave out the teens!! I was thinking Warren would just assign me some of the wives of disobedient priesthood holders, and when I get bored we can switch again - hence the free love thing.

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"It is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe." Thomas Paine


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 11:00 am 
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subjugation, brainwashing and abuse....sounds like a great religion and great God to worship :cry: :? :evil:

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"God is not a paper-pushing God!!!!!"--Nyal

"Sometimes I think religion is not a good thing when it's in the hands of people." --Philomytha


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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 11:40 am 
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If you really wanted to join the FLDS, just go to their biggest town there in Utah and keep telling everyone there you really wanna join! :lol: :lol:

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And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be
The door must always be left unlocked
To love when circumstance may lead someone away from you
And not to spend the time just doubting

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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 1:03 pm 
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dieublanc wrote:
I received a revelation the other day (while watching Big Love, I might add) that I should take another wife or two. I haven't yet revealed this the lords will to DW, but free love was all the rage in Nauvoo and we should try and become more like our early leaders.

So how do we go about joining the FLDS people? I found a website but there was no info on how to get in. Does Warren Jeffs have an email address? Does he even have access to email in jail? Or will he have received the same revelation as me and be contacting me soon of his own accord?


I had this revelation as well, but my wife just refuses to move down south. Now I suppose I could follow the words of D&C 132:

Quote:
64 And again, verily, verily, I say unto you, if any man have a wife, who holds the keys of this power, and he teaches unto her the law of my priesthood, as pertaining to these things, then shall she believe and administer unto him, or she shall be destroyed, saith the Lord your God; for I will destroy her; for I will magnify my name upon all those who receive and abide in my law.


But then I really am not a fan of her being destroyed just because she doubts Gods words unto me.

And at least if I can't have more wives why can't I get me a few concubines??

Quote:
38 David also received many wives and concubines, and also Solomon and Moses my servants, as also many others of my servants, from the beginning of creation until this time; and in nothing did they sin save in those things which they received not of me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 1:09 pm 
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If you find a few spare wives feel free to send a few my way. They need to be educated in the art of laundry and cleaning. One who can drive the kids around town would be great too. I would prefer infertile women who are uglier and fatter than me. Oh, and it would also be great if they were lesbians so they wouldn't want to have sex with my DH.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 1:16 pm 
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If the threat of DW being "destroyed" doesn't work just tell her that an angel came to you saying that you would die if you did not practice polygamy. It worked for JS.
Seriously though, if you are just generally interested in how the FLDS increases it's membership other than through childbirth I can't help you on that one. They should believe in missionary work since they claim to be the original church but I don't know if they do it out of fear for the law against polygamy. Not sure how they promote their faith to others or if they even do. Maybe that is done in secret too.

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Religion has the power to use the amazing abilities of our mind. When a person truly believes the act of practising something will bring them happiness then putting into practise that belief will bring them happiness.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 2:06 pm 
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It's an interesting question. I wonder if they get "converts." I've always wondered if people convert to the Amish way of life. I'm sure they do.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 2:17 pm 
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Zippy wrote:
It's an interesting question. I wonder if they get "converts." I've always wondered if people convert to the Amish way of life. I'm sure they do.


The book Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall mentions that her mother or her stepmother was a convert with her original dh when they were in their twenties....so I guess they do get converts somehow :shock:

_________________
The church admits God gave us brains...but they don't want us to actually use them....

"God is not a paper-pushing God!!!!!"--Nyal

"Sometimes I think religion is not a good thing when it's in the hands of people." --Philomytha


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PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 4:18 pm 
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dieublanc wrote:
I received a revelation the other day (while watching Big Love, I might add) that I should take another wife or two. I haven't yet revealed this the lords will to DW, but free love was all the rage in Nauvoo and we should try and become more like our early leaders.

So how do we go about joining the FLDS people? I found a website but there was no info on how to get in. Does Warren Jeffs have an email address? Does he even have access to email in jail? Or will he have received the same revelation as me and be contacting me soon of his own accord?


Just take a trip to Colorado City sometime and walk around town. Tell them, "Take Me to Your Leader." See if that works. There's the first ward (Waren Jeff's side of the highway) and second ward polygamists there. You definitely want to join the second ward. They aren't beholden to Warren Jeff's dictator, they can were whatever clothes they like, so their women are hotter. And generally they seem to be upwardly mobile financially. The second warders live in much nicer houses, driver nice cars and their wives can have more than one hair style and clothing type. It makes for much nicer women. I went to a park there once where a second ward activity was taking place and you it wouldn't look any different from a normal ward activity. Second ward is definitely the way to go.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 4:55 pm 
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Zippy wrote:
It's an interesting question. I wonder if they get "converts." I've always wondered if people convert to the Amish way of life. I'm sure they do.


My great uncle joined the FLDS. He brought along his own wife and kids, and some land he donated to the FLDS, maybe that made him an attractive convert. That was probably about 30 years ago, so maybe times have changed.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 5:08 pm 
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Location: Charm City
On the mission I taught Warren Jeffs Jr which was interesting since he knew almost everything already.

Our zone in Sandy would also pull weekly service up at the old FLDS compound at the base of Little Cottonwood Canyon...or was it Big... anyway. a Non Profit bought it and turned it into a housing center for individuals and their families that were in SLC for medical treatment.

There were 3 blds in the compound, one of which was still occupided by a FLD family still sporting that fashionable pioneer garb. Trend setters those FLDSers are.

Their font is a foot deeper then ours and they had a wine celler, and a very big brother ish CCTV command center. The biggest of the 2 blds held their old school and the less wives/family rooms. the other building was was rooms for the better wives. Each floor the rooms got bigger and for lavish.

It was very interesting ... they also had a fish pond.......

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Last edited by Deep Throat on Wed May 12, 2010 5:17 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 5:11 pm 
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Wow this is such an interesting thread about life there in Utah! :shock:

_________________
And maybe love is letting people be just what they want to be
The door must always be left unlocked
To love when circumstance may lead someone away from you
And not to spend the time just doubting

Howard Jones


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Wed May 12, 2010 9:25 pm 
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amimormon wrote:
If you find a few spare wives feel free to send a few my way. They need to be educated in the art of laundry and cleaning. One who can drive the kids around town would be great too. I would prefer infertile women who are uglier and fatter than me. Oh, and it would also be great if they were lesbians so they wouldn't want to have sex with my DH.


Pretty much what TBM DW said I joked with her about it. She's good with laundry and sewing, but hates cooking.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 12:47 am 
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I've found (by chance more or less) several FLDS people on Facebook. There seems to be a bunch of the Blackmore clan on there (from the Bountiful, B.C. branch of the church.) They insist that the FLDS does not practice teen or forced marriages. I don't know enough to confirm ... I just found it surprising that they are on Facebook at all.

Anyway, I get the impression it's a big commitment to even get involved and they try to discourage those (esp. men) who try to join up for ulterior motives. You show your commitment, I take it, by consecrating all of your goods to the church (they take United Order seriously), then you get assigned a piece of land (stewardship) that may or may not reflect the amount of your contribution. You get wives based on righteousness (obedience to the hierarchy). So, it's not a simple or painless process.

And once you're in they have you by the short hairs. You disobey or complain, you lose your stewardship and possibly family. That's a strong form of social control right there.

Better off just being an independent.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 11:47 am 
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Yeah I think I'd have to join the Blackmore clan being up here in Canada.
But they wouldn't want me in as I have just the one girl and 3 boys!!!
If it was the other way around I'd be fine.

The second ward polygamists sound pretty cool.

I read the book Stolen Innocence by Elissa Wall which was really interesting and listened to John Dehlin's interview with a polygamous woman who was LDS. Watching Big Love just got me interested in how one could join (not that I really would).

Eventually they'll have to die out I suppose if there are no new converts. So you Utah'ns don't get leaflets from them trying to convince you to join the true Mormons then eh?

I guess they would call us the Woodruffites eh :lol:

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"It is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe." Thomas Paine


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 1:29 pm 
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dieublanc, we know you'd never really join or you woulda been flamed a page ago. LOL

I've been told from a fundamentalist who shall remain nameless that they don't "need" to proselyte because truthseekers (gag, or whatever you wanna call them) seek them out. :? :shock: :(

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Thu May 13, 2010 1:42 pm 
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just me wrote:
dieublanc, we know you'd never really join or you woulda been flamed a page ago. LOL

I've been told from a fundamentalist who shall remain nameless that they don't "need" to proselyte because truthseekers (gag, or whatever you wanna call them) seek them out. :? :shock: :(


So I guess you're not a true truthseeker then :lol: :lol: :roll:

You should tell your fundamentalist friend that you will join if you can have 2 husbands (like Zina and several others did).

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"It is necessary to the happiness of man, that he be mentally faithful to himself. Infidelity does not consist in believing, or in disbelieving; it consists in professing to believe what he does not believe." Thomas Paine


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