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mellyleah
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Posts: 1042
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 Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:04 pm Post subject: Oh my, what have I done! |
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DQ sent me a facebook message said something about a post, and I checked in for just a second, and oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
I feel like a wrecking ball!!!
I never intended to create so much drama! But I realize that I did. And I want to apologize and give DQ a cyberhug and sing kumbaya with my NOM friends!
Alas said in a pm that I am having some sort of input overload, and I agree with that, so I am going to take a tiny step back away from the computer.
But I'm not saying goodbye!!! I'm even using multiple exclamation points here and I hate it when people do that!!!
And I just want to say that I love men. I love the way they look. I love the way they smell. I love the way they lift heavy things that I can't lift. I love how protective they are. I just love them, and sure they do try to fix everything, and never seem to figure out that you just want to be heard, (LM was right about that) but at least they cared to respond. So you guys can say stupid, insensitive things, and it's okay. Really.
Please make it all go away and go back to normal! I feel like a virus!
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"I believe in the truth wherever it is taught" --gnome-from-nom |
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Melodica
Korihor's my hero
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 3214
Location: holding Korihor's hand, So. Cal.
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:06 pm Post subject: |
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You are not a virus. I'm so very glad you are going to stay. From one Mel to another. 
Melodica
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To succeed... you need to find something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you.
--Tony Dorsett |
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c-rock
From the Quorum of the 12 Apostates
Joined: 20 Nov 2009
Posts: 319
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:08 pm Post subject: |
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I'm so glad you are still hanging around. I never like to see anyone feel hurt or unwelcome.
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Digressions, objections, delight in mockery, carefree mistrust are signs of health; everything unconditional belongs in pathology.
-Freidrich Nietzsche- |
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Leukarktos
eXtreme moderate
Joined: 14 Nov 2007
Posts: 2236
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:15 pm Post subject: |
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You didn't do anything wrong. I'm glad to hear you're staying. 
Anybody want to share some cyber hot chocolate? (It's darn cold outside!)
Leukarktos |
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makingwaves
Joined: 19 Nov 2007
Posts: 864
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:22 pm Post subject: |
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mellyleah, FYI you weren't the wrecking ball.
Last edited by makingwaves on Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:49 am; edited 1 time in total |
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d0nquix0te
Every plumber's worst nightmare!
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 5050
Location: Salt Lake, UT
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:47 pm Post subject: Re: Oh my, what have I done! |
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| mellyleah wrote: | | DQ sent me a facebook message said something about a post, and I checked in for just a second, and oh my gosh! I am so sorry! |
I believe I mentioned something to the effect of you best not respond to anything I might say, lest another travesty occur! 
I hope you are feeling at least somewhat better, and I promise to choose my words most carefully -- I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm dead sincere.
I've already taken all the blame so you don't get any. Sorry .
_________________
"If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
— Fred Rogers |
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bokawim
On the road to somewhere...
Joined: 17 Feb 2009
Posts: 288
Location: through the worm hole
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| Posted: Mon Feb 08, 2010 11:59 pm Post subject: Re: Oh my, what have I done! |
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LIKE. So glad you stayed.
| mellyleah wrote: | DQ sent me a facebook message said something about a post, and I checked in for just a second, and oh my gosh! I am so sorry!
I feel like a wrecking ball!!!
I never intended to create so much drama! But I realize that I did. And I want to apologize and give DQ a cyberhug and sing kumbaya with my NOM friends!
Alas said in a pm that I am having some sort of input overload, and I agree with that, so I am going to take a tiny step back away from the computer.
But I'm not saying goodbye!!! I'm even using multiple exclamation points here and I hate it when people do that!!!
And I just want to say that I love men. I love the way they look. I love the way they smell. I love the way they lift heavy things that I can't lift. I love how protective they are. I just love them, and sure they do try to fix everything, and never seem to figure out that you just want to be heard, (LM was right about that) but at least they cared to respond. So you guys can say stupid, insensitive things, and it's okay. Really.
Please make it all go away and go back to normal! I feel like a virus! |
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"Common sense is no match for the voice of God."
John Krakauer
"or for poor impulse control" -- Dathon |
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LadyWisdom
Fighting Frump...
Joined: 16 Jan 2009
Posts: 962
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:10 am Post subject: |
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So glad you are still with us. I love your insight into things and like I said before greatly admire you. Marriage is tough enough, without disaffection thrown in. And FWIW, husbands in general often have trouble "getting" their wives and their needs, which is why we have girlfriends, dear and the same for wives with their husbands. Intimacy in marriage takes years, I have been married over 25 years, and we are still learning to hear each other's hearts, it does come. However, sometimes it takes years to learn how to do such, in part because we are dealing with baggage from the past while trying to live life today. Take Care!
_________________
Our deepest wishes are whispers of our authentic selves.
We must learn to respect them.
We must learn to listen.
~ Sarah Ban Breathnach ~ |
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RedKoolAidMonster
Joined: 26 Aug 2009
Posts: 68
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 7:10 am Post subject: |
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Melly. I just need to take a moment to give you my personal thanks for your comments and insights to me over the months and months of my disaffection trauma. Early on in my disaffection, your voice was one of those that guided me through the darkness. You are loved and needed here.
While I am at it, may I also thank a few others who were the pillars of light directly over my head. This is not a complete list; I cannot list all the names and all the moments they helped me, but let me give a shout out to a few: Dathon, Star Stuff, Tanis, Liberal Mormon, NelleM, Green Toaster, NotMolly, Alas, GC Observer, Saganist, The Curies, Making Waves, Latterday Skeptic, Seerstoned, In the Back, GD Teacher, Just Me, Proud Duck and Melodica.
I simply could not have made it this far without you guys. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. Do we fight like siblings sometimes? You bet.
But I owe much of my sanity, my relative inner peace, my stronger relationship with my wife and kids, and this stupid grin on my face to you fine people.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE! I will be needing you when we finally come out to our parents.
_________________
I am by no means a philosopher, politician, religious guru or professional blogger, but I do make a mean pitcher of Kool Aid. Your cup is on the table... |
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alas
friend to frogs and other green things
Joined: 14 Nov 2007
Posts: 3642
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 9:45 am Post subject: |
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Let me explain more about what I said to Melly in the PM so others understand because I think it can be a problem for others. In fact, I think there have been others leave the boards when they felt unsupported and that something like this was the problem underlying the hurt feelings.
When we go to a friend or professional for advice, we get one person's advice. We can process it and think about it and decide if the comments and thoughts fit our situation. Then maybe next week talk to another friend and see how what they say fits our situation.
When we come on an on line forum like this, we get thoughts, advice, suggestions, empathy, support, and comments from 20 people all at once. (I know, my introduction a few years ago was like that. I felt bombarded--but then I jumped in with both feet and a horrible story) Then those people get to discussing each others comments and talking about the various ways they each see the situation, or even arguing. Suddenly we find ourselves unable to process what anyone is saying and in the middle of an emotional hurricane.
Now, the reason we posted in the first place is because we were having trouble sorting through our situation. Now we have two tons of new thoughts to sort and if there has been some kind of argument over the various comments, there is even more emotional garbage.
It FEELS like things got worse, not better. But after we get a chance to sort through all the new thoughts, then we can pick and choose which thoughts apply and are helpful and which just don't apply.
If a problem is relatively small, then we can do that picking and sorting right away and we are never overwhelmed. This is what happens with most posts and problems that are brought before the people here. We can sort through all the idea and pick and choose as we read through them.
Melly's situation was already complicated (as any marrital problem is, with the history of the couple and disagreements over something so important and basic as religion) and she would have had to be smarter than Einstein to sort through everything that came at her all at once. So, Peace, Melly and take a break if you need it and know that you are respected here as one wise and compassionate woman.
_________________
| Seerstoned wrote: | | But in the Mormon Church, the teachings of Joseph Smith trump the teachings of Jesus Christ Himself. |
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Self Proclaimed Greatness
Greatness looking for its self.
Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 1105
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 10:53 am Post subject: |
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Insecurities are part of our reality, and part of our illusion. To lose to them. . . is just loss.
Glad see that you're going to stay.
To face them, work through them, everybody win.
_________________
Everyone is Exactly where God would be, if He were in their shoes!
Before God said, "Let there be Light", it was Dark.
http://selfproclaimedgreatness.blogspot.com/ |
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d0nquix0te
Every plumber's worst nightmare!
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 5050
Location: Salt Lake, UT
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:42 am Post subject: |
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| LadyWisdom wrote: | | So glad you are still with us. I love your insight into things and like I said before greatly admire you. |
I agree very much with this lady's wisdom .
Look, any problem was entirely of my creation and I accept full responsibility. I hope you don't feel afraid to come here to vent of seek support.
Because jerks like me are just that jerks -- a new one is born everyday. Please accept my apologies, and I think everyone has learned from my mistakes which are many.
Take care.
_________________
"If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
— Fred Rogers |
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mellyleah
Joined: 14 Jul 2009
Posts: 1042
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 11:59 am Post subject: |
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| RedKoolAidMonster wrote: | Melly. I just need to take a moment to give you my personal thanks for your comments and insights to me over the months and months of my disaffection trauma. Early on in my disaffection, your voice was one of those that guided me through the darkness. You are loved and needed here.
While I am at it, may I also thank a few others who were the pillars of light directly over my head. This is not a complete list; I cannot list all the names and all the moments they helped me, but let me give a shout out to a few: Dathon, Star Stuff, Tanis, Liberal Mormon, NelleM, Green Toaster, NotMolly, Alas, GC Observer, Saganist, The Curies, Making Waves, Latterday Skeptic, Seerstoned, In the Back, GD Teacher, Just Me, Proud Duck and Melodica.
I simply could not have made it this far without you guys. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. Do we fight like siblings sometimes? You bet.
But I owe much of my sanity, my relative inner peace, my stronger relationship with my wife and kids, and this stupid grin on my face to you fine people.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE! I will be needing you when we finally come out to our parents. |
This is such a beautiful post, RKAM. One truth that I don't think I realized is that I have (as many of us have) become part of the fabric here at NOM. What I did was rash and truthfully, unwarranted. I apologize for my temporary abandonment.
I too, have benefited immensely from my relationships here.
I will never forget when rosered appeared out of the blue to tell me that she too had became disabled in the shower, so overcome with pain and hopelessness that she could not move. Just knowing that there was someone somewhere who had experienced this gave me the strength to move on.
And I will never forget when jimitch taught me in a PM about the true Kingdom of God.
And when Self Proclaimed Greatness suggested I was a goddess. I still carry that with me every day.
Or when Sheanight PM'd me and said, "I don't doubt you, so don't doubt yourself."
And I would continue this list, except I'm sure I would forget someone, but all of you have touched me with your thoughts, your brilliance, and your souls.
In the past 24 hours, I have learned tenfold that what we send out into the world creates a ripple of events, but those events also return to us, ebb and flow like the tide in the sea. We need to be careful and selective what messages we send out into the world, because they hold immense power, and eventually our power returns to us.
Last night, I wrote a love letter to all men.
I have been teaching my English sophomore class in conjunction with a senior professor. And to be a go-getter, I offered to take on our first joint class session (we are doing four this semester) and I planned the entire lesson, made handouts, and left this morning. I was running late, but realized I needed to get the garbage can out to the road. We had already missed last week, and DH was out of town, so I couldn't ask him. So I rushed it out and jumped in the car. Then I ran the trash can over. I had to pick the garbage out of the street, and then I was really running late. I drove a little too fast on snow packed roads (maybe 20 mph) and ended up in a snow bank, completely stuck, my senior professor waiting on a curbside somewhere for me to pick her up.
And I didn't have her cell number.
And then the men came. Two at first, a father and son, probably my neighbors. They parked their car and brought their shovels and told me to sit in the car (which I felt weird about, but did) as they worked away at the ice and snow. We still couldn't get the wheels to turn. Another neighbor appeared, an Asian man I didn't know, with his shovel. And then, miraculously, two burly men in a testosterone- laden pickup dropped out of the sky. The diesel chariot hovered about four feet above the ground, a golden tow strap reflecting in the weak, winter sunlight. Dressed in celestial bib overalls, they delivered my van out of the snow bank, and I arrived in the classroom at 9:30 sharp, on time.
Now would this have happened without my love letter? Logic would say yes. And this sounds strange, but I could actually sense my appreciation of men working for me, almost as though they had some sort of spiritual radar that could be tapped into as soon as my heart filled with gratitude, and I sent it out. I can't really justify or explain it. I can only describe it. Our power is channeled through our communication and becomes a tool for our lives. That is my personal truth, anyway.
-Mel
_________________
"I believe in the truth wherever it is taught" --gnome-from-nom |
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Self Proclaimed Greatness
Greatness looking for its self.
Joined: 25 Apr 2008
Posts: 1105
Location: PA, USA
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| Posted: Tue Feb 09, 2010 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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| mellyleah wrote: | | [ And this sounds strange, but I could actually sense my appreciation of men working for me, almost as though they had some sort of spiritual radar that could be tapped into as soon as my heart filled with gratitude, and I sent it out. |
LOL
My spiritual teachers tell me, "we cannot control anything, but ourselves."
All we can do, is "have a spirit."
The "spirit" does the work, not us.
It's my greatest task right now, trying to let go my effort to control and focus on my spirit. Our anger has an effect that reaches beyond the sound of our voice. So do does our love.
When we have the "right spirit" for us, things work. Things flows.
It could just be a weird coincidence, but it's also a powerful lesson. One that I hope you will take to heart.
_________________
Everyone is Exactly where God would be, if He were in their shoes!
Before God said, "Let there be Light", it was Dark.
http://selfproclaimedgreatness.blogspot.com/ |
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Dathon
%$#* waterspout!
Joined: 13 Nov 2007
Posts: 12805
Location: Here
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| Posted: Thu Feb 11, 2010 12:14 pm Post subject: Kumbaya my friends |
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| RedKoolAidMonster wrote: | Melly. I just need to take a moment to give you my personal thanks for your comments and insights to me over the months and months of my disaffection trauma. Early on in my disaffection, your voice was one of those that guided me through the darkness. You are loved and needed here.
-SNIP-
I simply could not have made it this far without you guys. Do we always agree? Absolutely not. Do we fight like siblings sometimes? You bet.
But I owe much of my sanity, my relative inner peace, my stronger relationship with my wife and kids, and this stupid grin on my face to you fine people.
DON'T GO ANYWHERE! I will be needing you when...-SNIP-. |
WORD! QFT
Kumbaya
I said Kumba Ya, dammit
Maybe this one is appropriate
skapunkified?WARNING there is a brief visual image in the previous YouTube video that may be offensive to some. Viewer discretion advised!
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"If God exists and His/Her best efforts for our happiness can be that easily thwarted by idiot humans, I am inclined to feel sympathetic at the frustration God would feel." --llave de látigo de Clay |
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