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amimormon
Joined: 13 Jan 2010
Posts: 371
Location: Arizona
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 Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 10:30 am Post subject: |
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| Would you prefer your spouse to masturbate or have an affair? |
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NelleM
spirit, energy
Joined: 09 May 2008
Posts: 1422
Location: on this planet...I think.
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| Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:17 pm Post subject: |
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| amimormon wrote: | | Would you prefer your spouse to masturbate or have an affair? |
How is that even remotely related or balanced or anything? It's kind of like asking would you rather your spouse eat a candy bar or jump off a cliff.
_________________
Thinking is not optional.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9qYF9DZPdw |
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d0nquix0te
Every plumber's worst nightmare!
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 5050
Location: Salt Lake, UT
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| Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 1:44 pm Post subject: |
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| amimormon wrote: | | Would you prefer your spouse to masturbate or have an affair? |
I would prefer my spouse to do whatever makes him or her happy. All this micromanaging people is toxic, IMO. Marriage should be about the mutual enhancement of each other's lives, not about controlling the other person's behavior.
You don't get married to own your husbands penis/wife's vagina.
I'm sorry, but your question kind of blows my mind because for one thing it is missing the point.
_________________
"If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
— Fred Rogers |
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earthbound misfit
Unable to leap bad logic in a single bound
Joined: 30 Jan 2010
Posts: 364
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| Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:53 pm Post subject: |
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Matthew 5:27, From the Really Really New Contemporary International Version of the Bible(as you know, many precious parts of the Bible were lost in translation):
It has been said by really old men, Thou shalt not commit adultery. But I say unto you, whosever looketh upon that really hot woman in accounting for just a second too long, and all of a sudden starts imagining doing things with her like...like....... hang on a second..................just a minute....................................just a minute.........................hang on..........................hang on.....................OK, where was I? Oh yeah, whosoever looks upon and lusts after that hot woman in accounting with those gorgeous green eyes has committed adultery with her already in his heart....and has a small mess to clean up! |
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leftfootrightfoot
Joined: 23 Oct 2009
Posts: 14
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| Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 6:11 pm Post subject: |
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I would love it if my wife admitted that she masturbates....kinda turns me on just thinking about it.  |
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gypsy
Joined: 22 Feb 2010
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Mon Feb 22, 2010 10:41 pm Post subject: |
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Check out mormontherapist.blogspot.com
She has addressed this issue A LOT. Good stuff... |
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Drew.82
Joined: 03 Apr 2010
Posts: 62
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| Posted: Sat Apr 24, 2010 11:40 pm Post subject: |
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| James_Dean_Mormon wrote: | I'm 18-years-old, and have been asked about masturbating form my bishops since I was 14 in my bi-annual interviews.
Anyway, I exercise my free agency and do it whenever I feel like it.
I know I'm not alone on this because the self-righteous Mormon kids my age do it all the time and brag about it in school, yet they're some of the ones that are on Seminary council. Because they think being "spiritual is sexy for the Laurels," they manage to do baptisms for the dead every Wednesday morning. They've invited me to come with them, but I prefer not to because I just wouldn't feel right. I'm not open to judging them because, well, everyone's doin' it. Ha ha, kinky.
Boy do I need to get my priorities straight. |
This is off-topic, but...
Wow. I've never heard about any of those things before! Well, I know about baptisms for the dead... but every Wednesday morning? Church practices must be more intense in your area! |
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Brumps
Joined: 22 Jan 2010
Posts: 118
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 12:48 am Post subject: Re: Masturbation and Current "Official" church pol |
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| buddhabelly wrote: | | My wife and I have an agreement and are both "cool" with it that we are allowed to masturbate. She does so in the shower and I do so whenever I feel like it. It has allowed us to be married for 12 years now. It doesn't involve porn or lusting after others. We still have a good sex life together as well. I grew up with tons of guilt because of this "little factory" issue. I'm going to have a temple interview sometime soon and have thought about putting this issue under the "umbrella" of marital relationships. I do feel guilt, but mostly because I have been taught to feel shame for this behavior for years by church leaders. Is it true that there is no "thus saith the Lord" official positions on masturbation in the church? In 1990 when I went on my mission I remember hearing that no missionary was going to be allowed to serve if they hadn't overcame this "problem". How about now a days? This is my biggest hang up in coming back into full fellowship in the church. Any advice in this area would be helpful. Thanks. |
So, no one really answered the question. Is there an "official" church position on the matter and where can I find it? My boys are about to have their 12 year old interview with the bishop pretty soon and it would be nice to be "armed" with some solid information. |
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d0nquix0te
Every plumber's worst nightmare!
Joined: 15 Nov 2007
Posts: 5050
Location: Salt Lake, UT
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| Posted: Sun Apr 25, 2010 3:15 am Post subject: Re: Masturbation and Current "Official" church pol |
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| Brumps wrote: | | buddhabelly wrote: | | My wife and I have an agreement and are both "cool" with it that we are allowed to masturbate. She does so in the shower and I do so whenever I feel like it. It has allowed us to be married for 12 years now. It doesn't involve porn or lusting after others. We still have a good sex life together as well. I grew up with tons of guilt because of this "little factory" issue. I'm going to have a temple interview sometime soon and have thought about putting this issue under the "umbrella" of marital relationships. I do feel guilt, but mostly because I have been taught to feel shame for this behavior for years by church leaders. Is it true that there is no "thus saith the Lord" official positions on masturbation in the church? In 1990 when I went on my mission I remember hearing that no missionary was going to be allowed to serve if they hadn't overcame this "problem". How about now a days? This is my biggest hang up in coming back into full fellowship in the church. Any advice in this area would be helpful. Thanks. |
So, no one really answered the question. Is there an "official" church position on the matter and where can I find it? My boys are about to have their 12 year old interview with the bishop pretty soon and it would be nice to be "armed" with some solid information. |
The official church policy is to abide by the law of the land. And last time I checked parents trump church officials in guardian authority over children  .
Make your own policy -- the church's policy is about as fluid as a 14 year old's dream  .
_________________
"If you could only sense how important you are to the lives of those you meet; how important you can be to the people you may never even dream of. There is something of yourself that you leave at every meeting with another person."
— Fred Rogers |
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MormonZero
Joined: 04 Apr 2008
Posts: 399
Location: VA
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pukester
Joined: 09 May 2010
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 7:19 pm Post subject: |
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| InvisibleChurch wrote: | | I don't have the reference, but there was an incident a few years ago where a young man committed suicide over guilt caused by the church's stance on masturbation. I'm just guessing, but I'd bet the church has backed away from it for legal reasons, not to mention the fact that their position was psychologically untenable. |
Just so you know,
This incident was just the one you heard about.
Don't think there aren't many, many more.
When I was in College (early 1980s), a teenager tried to saw off his hand because of guilt that he couldn't quit masterbating like the church wanted. |
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pukester
Joined: 09 May 2010
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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| amimormon wrote: | | Would you prefer your spouse to masturbate or have an affair? |
I'm having a hard time understanding what that was supposed to mean??
In my opinion there is some understanding lacking here...or something.
I am not aware of affairs happenning because of not masterbating...rather, they usually happen (at least all of the ones I have been privy to) because of a wife that wants it much less than the husband....Apparently, for most people (and lds women that don't understand the brutal truth that every red blooded american man wants a maid in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom..so to speak), whether or not you masterbate has little to do with whether or not you have an affair. I believe it runs deeper than that. I |
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pukester
Joined: 09 May 2010
Posts: 20
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| Posted: Sun May 09, 2010 7:39 pm Post subject: What I recall hearing as doctrine growing up many years ago. |
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I recall this because I believe it was always taught the same way every time I heard it.
they would say "Masturbation is wrong because you are misusing the powers of creation."
My opinion is that it would probably be better if one could control himself rather than not. But I also believe there is absolutely no useful purpose to induce guilt over masterbation. This turns what may or may not be a small problem..into a much bigger issue that could scar an adolescent for many years and "backfire" (as far as the church is concerned) later on in life.
I also believe that the statement "masturbation is wrong because you're misusing the powers of creation"..is mostly ill-concieved and certainly not descriptive. My understanding is that a male creates the same amount of sperm whether or not he gets his rocks off all the time or not. So the same amount of sperm is always wasted unless he happens to be getting someone pregnant about every couple hours or so. As far as women go, is letting an egg go to waste every month without getting pregnant a sin?
Go ahead and let that one take you where it will. There are not too many ways for anybody to reconcile that with the original statement using todays world or todays religion.
Throughout history, until the Catholic Church came along, I believe young men could get their dads to buy them a concubine...or what have you...
The last thing they were worried about was spilling seed on the ground. |
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NelleM
spirit, energy
Joined: 09 May 2008
Posts: 1422
Location: on this planet...I think.
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| Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 3:47 am Post subject: |
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| pukester wrote: | | amimormon wrote: | | Would you prefer your spouse to masturbate or have an affair? |
I'm having a hard time understanding what that was supposed to mean??
In my opinion there is some understanding lacking here...or something.
I am not aware of affairs happenning because of not masterbating...rather, they usually happen (at least all of the ones I have been privy to) because of a wife that wants it much less than the husband....Apparently, for most people (and lds women that don't understand the brutal truth that every red blooded american man wants a maid in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom..so to speak), whether or not you masterbate has little to do with whether or not you have an affair. I believe it runs deeper than that. I |
I think your assertion on why affairs "usually" happen is really out of line and ought to be backed up with research or facts if you are going to make such a sexist condescending statement.
_________________
Thinking is not optional.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N9qYF9DZPdw |
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Liberal Mormon
RIP correlated version of the LDS Church
Joined: 08 Jul 2009
Posts: 3486
Location: Outside the MorCor
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| Posted: Mon May 10, 2010 10:20 am Post subject: |
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| James_Dean_Mormon wrote: | | I'm 18 yearsold, and have been asked about masturbating form my bishops since I was 14 in my bi-annual interviews. |
I've already had to tell my DS who's barely 12, that if anyone tried to talk to him about this subject, to walk out of the interview and let me know right away! 
_________________
"For me, the problem is that I don't want to belong to a corporation -- I want to belong to a church. The hypocrisy is that they claim to be a church, but act like a business." - mcarp, 25 May 2010
That went over like a Kenny G kazoo cover band. |
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